


Received

by EriksChampion



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: (partial) script format, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 00:17:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8599552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EriksChampion/pseuds/EriksChampion
Summary: Yugi hummed and continued writing. Jounouchi reached forward and plucked his phone off the edge of Yugi’s desk and flopped back on the carpet, scrolling through Yugi’s contact list. It was simple, easy—almost inevitable—that, one name above Kawai Shizuka, he should see Kaiba Seto.What was less inevitable was that—after stealing a glance at Yugi’s profile, still half-submerged in textbooks—Jounouchi should pluck the pencil out from between his teeth and scrawl down his number in the margins of his math book.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Soft Star (Umbriel)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbriel/gifts).



> I'm not sure if this is exactly what you had in mind (admittedly I interpreted the prompt somewhat liberally...)
> 
> (Also does anyone still text nowadays? Or is it all on snapchat? I'm not with it)

It started simply enough—Jounouchi propped up against Yugi’s bedframe, chewing the end of his pencil, shaking his phone.

“Come _on_ …” he mumbled, squinting at this phone and tightening his grip, as if to squeeze the very last drop of life out of the battery. The screen sputtered and went dark, and then it was only his disgruntled face staring back at him. “Hey, Yugi,” he glanced up to where Yugi was sitting at his desk. “Mind if I borrow your phone? I promised Shizuka I’d text her when I was about to leave.”

Yugi didn’t look up from his textbook, but nudged his phone an inch or two in Jounouchi’s direction. “Sure, Jounouchi-kun. Go ahead.”

“Great. Thanks!”

Yugi hummed and continued writing. Jounouchi reached forward and plucked his phone off the edge of Yugi’s desk and flopped back on the carpet, scrolling through Yugi’s contact list. It was simple, easy—almost inevitable—that, one name above Kawai Shizuka, he should see Kaiba Seto.

What was less inevitable was that—after stealing a glance at Yugi’s profile, still half-submerged in textbooks—Jounouchi should pluck the pencil out from between his teeth and scrawl down his number in the margins of his math book.

\---

_[0112716677 3/7/2015 4:47 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. Hey what’s up?_

_[0114535296 3/7/2015 4:47 P.M.]:  Haha nice_

_[0114535296 3/7/2015 4:48 P.M.]: I know this is your real number dumbass_

_[0112716677 3/7/2015 4:48 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. Haha nice_

_[0112716677 3/7/2015 4:48 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. I know this is your real number dumbass_

_[0114535296 3/7/2015 4:49 P.M.]:  Jounouchi Katsuya is a superb duelist_

_[0112716677 3/7/2015 4:49 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  Jounouchi Katsuya is a superb duelist_

_[0114535296 3/7/2015 4:49 P.M.]:  and kaiba seto is a big palooka_

_[0112716677 3/7/2015 4:49 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. and kaiba seto is a big palooka_

Jounouchi frowned and stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

Several days passed, and Jounouchi would have forgotten this incident completely—had it not been for an insistent buzzing that interrupted his and Yugi’s conservation while eating lunch on the roof.

“Whoops, sorry, Jounouchi-kun! This will only take a second.” Yugi tapped something out on his phone then stuck it back into his pocket. “Kaiba-kun is always asking me to keep him updated about when the game shop gets new merchandize.”

 “Oh, really?” He bit the inside of his lip. “You’d think he’d get his own stash directly from Pegasus.”

Yugi shrugged. “Yeah, you’d think so…”

“So he texts you a lot?”

“Occasionally.”

“Hmm…” Jounouchi nodded.

That night, he tried again.

\---

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:06 P.M.]:  Hey kaiba do you want to hear a joke_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:06 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  Hey kaiba do you want to hear a joke_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:06 P.M.]:  well I’m going to tell you anyway_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:07 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  well I’m going to tell you anyway_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:07 P.M.]:  At a small town charity one of the volunteers notices that the most successful lawyer in town hasn’t made a contribution_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:07 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  At a small town charity one of the volunteers notices_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:07 P.M.]:  This guy was making a ton so the volunteer thought, “why not call him up?”_

_[0112716677  3/16/2015 10:08 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. This guy was making a ton so the volunteer thought, “w_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:08 P.M.]:  So he calls the lawyer_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:08 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. So he calls the lawyer_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:08 P.M.]:  “Sir, according to our records you haven’t made a contribution to our charity, would you like to do so?”_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:09 P.M.]:    0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. “Sir, according to our records you haven’t made a cont_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:09 P.M.]:  The lawyer says, “a contribution? Do your records show that I have an invalid mother who requires expensive medicine just to stay alive?_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:09 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. The lawyer says, “a contribution? Do your records show_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:10 P.M.]:  “Does it show that my sister’s husband was killed in a car accident, leaving her with 3 kids and no means of support?_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:10 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. “Does it show that my sister’s husband was killed in a_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:10 P.M.]:  “Or that my brother broke his neck on the job and now requires a full-time nurse?_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:10 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. “Or that my brother broke his neck on the job and now_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:10 P.M.]:  The volunteer feels embarrassed and says “I’m so sorry, sir…please forgive me…”_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:11 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  The volunteer feels embarrassed and says “I’m so sorry,_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:11 P.M.]:  The lawyer replies, “the gall of you people! I don’t give anything to them, so why should I give anything to you?!”_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:11 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  The lawyer replies, “the gall of you people! I don’t_

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:12 P.M.]:  Made me think of you_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:12 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  Made me think of you_

He glared at his stubbornly unresponsive screen for several moments.

_[0114535296 3/16/2015 10:14 P.M.]:  I know you’re listening_

_[0112716677 3/16/2015 10:14 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. I know you’re listening_

There was no other reply, but the bright white screen seemed to gaze up him with an expectant expression, as if it were raising a brow and waiting to see if he would continue.

Jounouchi snorted, flipped his phone over to block the light, then stuffed it under his pillow.

\---

He devised a strategy. He would send one message in the middle of a weekday afternoon, when Kaiba was certain to have his nose buried in work (“What does an annoying pepper do? It gets all jalapeño face!”). He sent a message late Friday afternoon when he was likely crawling through rush hour traffic and itching to get home (“I’d like to thank the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets”). He sent one late on a very Saturday night—or a very early Sunday morning—when his insomnia was flaring up again and he was desperate to get some sleep (“How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!”). Sometimes he would pelt Kaiba with ten one-word texts a minute. Sometimes he would go nearly a week with no contact. He tried firing off insults. He tried asking questions. He once sent one message in the middle of a long, cold Friday night (a blurry photo of a steaming bowl of udon, captioned “Bet you wish you were here~”). 

No matter what time he texted, no matter the frequency of his messages, no matter their content, the response was always the same—clipped and immediate:

_0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code._

_\---_

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 1:32 P.M.]:   Hey Kaiba are you still pretending your phone doesn’t work_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 1:32 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  Hey Kaiba are you still pretending your phone doesn’t_

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 1:35 P.M.]:   What if I called you what would you do then_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 1:35 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  What if I called you what would you do then_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 1:35 P.M.]:  Don’t call me._

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 1:36 P.M.]:   oh wow! Look whose number suddenly stopped being invalid_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 1:36 P.M.]:   0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  oh wow! Look whose number suddenly stopped being inva_

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 6:36 P.M.]:   So how did you keep replying to my texts with that error message so fast? I thought for sure that eventually you would miss one and I’d catch you that way_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:36 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  So how did you keep replying to my texts with that er_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:36 P.M.]:  It’s an automatically generated message._

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 6:37 P.M.]:   Haha nice. Is that something you do with everyone or am I special_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:37 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  Haha nice. Is that something you do with everyone or_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:37 P.M.]: No one else has texted me so persistently._

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:37 P.M.]:  You’re not special._

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 6:38 P.M.]:   (─_ _‿‿_ _─)_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:38 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  (─_ _‿‿_ _─)_

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 6:38 P.M.]:  So what made you drop the act then_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:39 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  So what made you drop the act then_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:39 P.M.]:  If you had tried to call me immediately after sending that message my only option would have been to send it to voicemail. I was giving a presentation and could not stop to create a custom voicemail greeting. I decided to cut my losses._

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:40 P.M.]:  And I don’t want you calling me._

_[0114535296 4/5/2015 6:40 P.M.]:   Dude you could just block me lol_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:40  P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  Dude you could just block me lol_

_[0112716677 4/5/2015 6:41 P.M.]:  Not a bad idea._

_\--_

_[0114535296 4/9/2015 7:21 P.M.]:   So you probably just deleted all those messages I sent you huh_

_[0112716677 4/9/2015 7:21 P.M.]:  0112716677 Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.  So you probably just deleted all those messages I sen_

_[0112716677 4/9/2015 7:21 P.M.]:  No._

That was the last that Jounouchi heard from Kaiba from several days. He had nearly forgotten their last exchange—moved onto _much_ bigger and better things—when, waiting in line to ring up his Cook Do boxes and nagaimo, his phone suddenly buzzed in his back pocket.

_[0112716677 4/12/2015 4:54 P.M.]: God you are so incredibly not funny._

Jounouchi’s fingers tightened around his phone. He screwed up his mouth and was about to tap out a retort when the phone buzzed again and nearly jumped out of his hands.

_[0112716677 4/12/2015 4:56 P.M.]:  What was the point?_

_[0114535296 4/12/2015 4:56 P.M.]: ?_

_[0112716677 4/12/2015 4:57 P.M.]:  Why did you bother? You had to know that I wasn’t going to reply. Why keep sending messages that you knew weren’t ever going to be read? It’s idiotic._

_[0114535296 4/12/2015 4:57 P.M.]: You’re reading them now, aren’t you?_

That seemed to shut him up.

\---

_[0114535296 4/12/2015 6:23 P.M.]:  I just wanted to annoy you a little_

_[0114535296 4/12/2015 6:23 P.M.]: I had this great mental image of you getting all annoyed every time your phone went off and woke you up in the middle of the night or something_

_[0112716677 4/12/2015 6:24 P.M.]:  That never happened._

_[0114535296 4/12/2015 6:24 P.M.]: Guess that means I’m just gonna have to keep trying ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

_[0112716677 4/12/2015 6:25 P.M.]:  I will block you._

Jounouchi spent several days strategizing. He scrolled through his conversation history and took note of the time stamps of Kaiba’s messages (even those responses which had not been pre-programmed had been nearly instantaneous), the way each of his messages was neatly bookended with a stiff, capital letter and a period. He read the record of their conservation over several times—during the empty minutes between early morning classes, walking back home with the setting sun reading over his shoulder, in his room with all the other lights turned off—as if there was something there below the surface that would shift and reveal itself in the changing light. _Strategizing._

\---

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 5:00 P.M.]:  Hey kaiba have you blocked me yet_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 5:03 P.M.]:  You know maybe I just thought that you needed more fun and humor in your life_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 5:06 P.M.]:  Hey so if you’re such an expert in being funny why don’t you tell me a joke kaiba_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 5:08 P.M.]:  tell me a joke_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 5:09 P.M.]:  If you want a good joke all you have to do is look in the mirror._

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 5:09 P.M.]:  Firstly fuck you_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 5:09 P.M.]:  Secondly is that the best you can do?_

_\--_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 6:30 P.M.]:  You can’t think of one, can you?_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 6:30 P.M.]:  I have better things to do than humor you._

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 6:31 P.M.]:  Nahhh you can’t think of one. I bet you couldn’t tell a joke if your life depended on it_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 6:31 P.M.]: Or smile at anyone besides Mokuba_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 6:31 P.M.]: Can you even laugh?_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 6:31 P.M.]:  And I mean laugh like a normal person not your weird evil genius laugh_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 6:37 P.M.]:  I’m waiting…_

His phone was non-communicative for several hours.  Jounouchi spared it a few dirty looks out of the corner of his eye, but it ignored him as it continued to ruminate. The sunlight faded, Jounouchi was not quite fully able to succeed in turning his attention to other things, and did not realize how much tension he had been holding in his chest until his phone buzzed—somewhat insistently—on the pile of blankets where he had tossed it. Jounouchi waited thirty seconds then he picked it up to see:

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:14 P.M.]: Alright, Jounouchi. I have a joke for you:_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:14 P.M.]: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:14 P.M.]:  I don’t know and I don’t care._

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:15 P.M.]: Do you need me to explain it to you?_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:15 P.M.]:  no asshole. Very funny_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:16 P.M.]:  Ha Ha_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:16 P.M.]:  Mine are better_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:16 P.M.]: That’s debatable._

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:17 P.M.]:  I think you can do better_

Jounouchi smirked when the little bubble indicating that Kaiba was typing vanished and re-appeared twice before he settled on a reply.

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:19 P.M.]: I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work._

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:19 P.M.]:  (_ _◕‿◕✿)_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:21 P.M.]: ┌∩┐(_ _◣__ _◢)_ _┌∩┐_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:21 P.M.]: Wow. Uncalled for_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:22 P.M.]: Have you heard the joke that they don’t tell idiots?_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:22 P.M.]: HA HA_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:22 P.M.]:  Wow that was even worse than your last one_

_[0114535296 4/16/2015 8:23 P.M.]: Keep trying!_ _ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)_

_[0112716677 4/16/2015 8:24 P.M.]: Shut up._

_\--_

Jounouchi always seemed to know when it was Kaiba texting him. His phone would vibrate with an added sense of self-important urgency, as if it were coming up behind him to tap him on the shoulder, or as if it had become a child—skipping at his side, tugging on the end of his sleeve, trying to pull him in an errant direction. When it went off in his pocket it demanded that his whole body pay attention.

Whereas Jounouchi’s messages had been erratically spaced, Kaiba’s were methodically measured.

Monday at 6:05 AM, when he was just settling into the office and booting up his computer: “Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ‘Would you all like something to drink?’ The first logician says, ‘I’m not sure.’ The second logician says, ‘I’m not sure.’ The third logician says ‘Yes.’”

Thursday at 12:11 PM, when he was eating lunch and waiting for his coffee to cool: “There are two rules to success in this world. The first is don’t tell anyone everything you know.”

And, the ones which always surprised Jounouchi the most, which came at 11:30 PM on Sunday night: “For Freud, what stands between fear and sex?” (Kaiba had waited several minutes for Jounouchi to reply to that one before sending, “Fünf.” Jounouchi nodded and smiled even though he didn’t get it.)

The messages were delivered so regularly that Jounouchi could time by then. Until they weren’t.

\--

_[0114535296 4/29/2015 6:20 P.M.]: surrendering so soon?_

_[0112716677 4/29/2015 6:21 P.M.]: I’ve been busy._

_[0114535296 4/29/2015 6:21 P.M.]: pssssssssssh_

_[0112716677 4/29/2015 6:22 P.M.]: Did you miss me_

_[0114535296 4/29/2015 6:25 P.M.]: That’s the best joke you’ve told so far_

Kaiba didn’t reply to that one. The “Seen: 6:25 P.M.” sat at the bottom of Jounouchi’s screen and felt like an accusation.

\---

 _[0114535296 5/3/2015 11:48 A.M.]:_  (¬_¬'')ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

_[0114535296 5/3/2015 11:48 A.M.]: Me + you_

_[0112716677 5/3/2015 11:50 A.M.]: (_ _ﾉ-.-)_ _ﾉ_ _….((((((((((((●~* ( >_<)_

_[0112716677 5/3/2015 11:50 A.M.]:  FTFY_

 ---

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:16 P.M.]:  Ok I heard a really good one today_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:16 P.M.]:  It’s a little long_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:16 P.M.]:  I saw a man in the street who had an orange for a head_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:17 P.M.]:  I stopped him and asked him why do you have an orange for a head?_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:17 P.M.]:  The man said that he had found a magic lamp and when he rubbed it a genii popped out and gave him 3 wishes_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:18 P.M.]:  He said that for his 1 st wish he wished for a million $$$_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:18 P.M.]:  for his 2 nd wish he wished for a gorgeous girlfriend_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:19 P.M.]:  Confused, I asked him what he requested for his 3 rd wish_

_[0114535296 5/8/2015 6:19 P.M.]: He said “I wished for an orange for a head”_

It was a day before Kaiba replied. When he did the weight of Jounouchi’s phone seemed to double.

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:34 A.M.]:  5/10._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:35 A.M.]:  that one made you laugh ADMIT IT_

_[0112716677 5/910/2015 1:35 A.M.]:  No._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:37 A.M.]:  You’re something else you know that_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:37 A.M.]:  I know._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:43 A.M.]:  tell me what you’re doing right now_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:43 A.M.]:   Why?_

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:43 A.M.]:  I’m curious. It’s weird for anyone to be up this late_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:44 A.M.]:  I’m working. What’s your excuse?_

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:45 A.M.]:  You woke me up_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:45 A.M.]:  10 minutes ago._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:45 A.M.]:  Well im still awake_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:46 A.M.]:   Go back to sleep then._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:46 A.M.]:  It’s hard…_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:47 A.M.]:  I know._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:48 A.M.]:  Tell me more of your boring jokes that will put me to sleep_

Laying in his bed in the darkness, head propped up against his pillow, it was hard for Jounouchi to look at his phone without squinting. Kaiba started and stopped typing several times and Jounouchi watched even though it made his eyes hurt.

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:54 A.M.]:  It’s not worthwhile for me to make a habit of losing sleep to talking to people_

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:54 A.M.]:  yeah but I’m not just /anybody/_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:55 A.M.]:  You’re right._

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:55 A.M.]:  You’re much worse._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:56 P.M.]:  offensive_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:56 A.M.]: You walked right into that one._

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:57 A.M.]: Texting is only going to make it harder for you to fall asleep._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:57 A.M.]: then call me. Tell me a boring story about your day_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:58 A.M.]:  No._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:58 A.M.]: Then I’ll keep txting you and you won’t be able to sleep either_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 1:59 A.M.]: Or I’ll turn my phone off._

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:59 A.M.]: You could but you won’t_

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 1:59 A.M.]: you know how I know that_

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 2:00 A.M.]: cause you didn’t block me 2 months ago_

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 2:00 A.M.]: And you never will_

_[0112716677 5/10/2015 2:01 A.M.]:  Are you really so sure about that?_

_[0114535296 5/10/2015 2:01 A.M.]: just prove me wrong_

In the absence that followed Jounouchi frowned and wondered if Kaiba had decided to ignore him after all. He flung his head back into his pillow and glared at his darkened ceiling. There was too much static behind his eyes to let him sleep, a feeling like coke and mentos roiling the air. He wanted to stare down each silent minute and force something out of it.

He jumped when his phone started buzzing again and didn’t seem to want to stop. It was ringing. Jounouchi titled his head up, frowned, and brought it up to his ear.

“…Hello?”

There was a small pause on the other end. Then Kaiba cleared his throat. “Jounouchi, I made a list for you.” His voice was a quiet jolt.

Perhaps Jounouchi had fallen asleep after all and now he was dreaming, because Kaiba’s voice seemed to orbit around the outside of his head without ever landing. “Huh?...A list of what?” He mumbled and wasn’t sure whether he was speaking too softly or too loudly.

“What do a bicycle and a duck have in common?” He sounded very serious.

“Huh?”

He sighed. “What do a bicycle and a duck have in common?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“They both have handlebars—except the duck doesn’t.”

Jounouchi shook his head and scrunched up his face. “What...?”

“Pay attention, Jounouchi.”

“That doesn’t even make sense…”

“What’s red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What’s blue and looks like a bucket?” He paused a beat. “A red bucket _in_ _disguise_.”

“Hah—what are you doing?”

“You said you wanted me to make you fall asleep.”

“I didn’t think you’d actually call.” Jounouchi blinked several times and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He forgot to close his mouth again.

“Then I’ll go.”

Jounouchi could hear Kaiba’s finger on the button to end the call and he scrambled to sit up. “No--! I mean, you don’t _have_ to. Just…don’t tell me any more jokes…”

“One more.”

“Okay, okay—you can do _one_ more.”

“It’s a knock-knock joke.”

“Okay…”

“You have to start it.”

“Um, okay…knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

Jounouchi could feel Kaiba smirking on the other end of the phone. He closed his eyes and chuckled. “I have no idea…you have to tell me…” His exasperated sigh turned into slow, loopy laughter. “God, that’s so dumb!”

“It made you laugh.”

“Because I’m sleep deprived!”

“Still counts.”

Jounouchi continued laughing. It rolled deep into his stomach, and—like breathing—he couldn’t stop. He could have been imaging it, but for just a second he thought he heard another sound pressed up against his ear. Something soft and silvery and strangely delicate.

Whatever sound Kaiba had been making, he swallowed it down quickly like cough medicine. “So you’re going to go to sleep now?”

“No—I couldn’t sleep _now_. Just—uh…why are you still awake?”

“I’m Working.”

“Ha—no you’re not.”

Kaiba paused. “Yes I am.”

Jounouchi was having trouble keeping his eyes open. “You’re talking to me.”

“I’m doing both.”

“Ah ha ha, how well’s that working?”

“Fine.”

“Whatever you’re writing’s gonna be full of typos tomorrow.”

Kaiba scoffed. “I don’t make typos.”

“Hah yeah…” He yawned. “Sure…”

“Just go to sleep, Jounouchi.”

And then he was gone. Jounouchi pulled his phone away from his ear and frowned at the abrupt silence. But then he smiled. He lay back in bed, closed his eyes, and still chuckling, let the night slip away.

\---

Kaiba set his phone back down. The heavy thud it made on his nightstand was almost startling in the stillness of his bedroom. After a few moments of inactivity the screen began to dim, and then turned off completely. Kaiba continued to watch it, hoping and not hoping that it would light up and startle him again. He shook his head. He gazed out the window and counted off the hours until he could wake up again.

\--

The next morning, Jounouchi was roused awake by a light, persistent buzzing at his side. His eyes opened slowly and heavily and for a few moments everything was a little blurry. Eventually he could make out a photo of Domino City taken from somewhere very high. The sun was just rising, the sky a frosty blue only just beginning to melt. The streets were nearly empty—with only one white delivery van casting a shadow that reached all way down the block. It was an image of gauzy silence, a kind of stillness that was porous and waiting to have something poured inside it. It was captioned: Made me think of you.

A second later, Jounouchi’s phone buzzed again.

 _[0112716677 5/10/2015 6:00 A.M.]:_   _And don’t ever keep me up again._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Confession: I have no sense of humor and I stole all the jokes from reddit:  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1gzdl1/whats_a_joke_thats_so_stupid_its_funny/  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1orzj6/what_is_the_best_lame_joke_you_know/  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1hd13a/whats_your_favourite_short_joke_that_works_on/  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktlsv/what_is_your_best_antijoke/  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/34igme/what_is_your_favourite_antijoke/  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/on3wk/what_nonjokenot_that_funny_jokes_have_you_laughed/  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/we9u4/what_jokes_do_you_love_that_people_dont_get_right/


End file.
